Cadel Comedown...or is it?

So, as predicted by this blog (what were the odds?!?), Cadel won the Tour on Sunday - the First Australian to do so. Exclamation Point!
So now the euphoria has died down..wait a minute...the euphoria hasn't died down at all!!
This is still Totally Awesome!!!
Even the New York Times reported his win!
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!! Oui! Oui! Oui!
There were many questions about whether this was the greatest victory by an Australian sportsman ever, and I've gotta say I'm firmly in the "Yes" camp. I've watched pretty much every stage of the Tour for the last five years (barring two weeks last year when I stupidly booked a two-week holiday in Bali in July 2010 - what was I thinking?!?), so I think I was due a Cadel Victory after all that effort I put in.

Greatest moment of the 2011 Tour? Well, there were many. I recall Dave McKenzie saying years ago that every winner of the TDF has really stamped his authority on the race at least on one stage, and Cadel’s win on stage 4 up the Mur-de-Bretagne was clearly a stand-out (especially since he was at the back of the peloton with bike problems and 20km to go, and then he got to the front AND beat Contador BUT Contador claimed the win even though he DIDN'T - all GOLD with a capital G...and O, L and D).
Cadel was clearly a contender from the very beginning, continuously trying to keep himself at the front, and even stealing seconds or placings on such benign stages as stage 3 and 8. But then his efforts in the Alps were what really ended up ensuring he won the Tour.
A guy who really knows what he's talking about also called rilestar had this to say after the monumental stage 18:

"Ummm, @Brian 9:40am, not sure if you've been watching the same tour as me, but Cadel hasn't really been sitting on anyone's wheel...
He's attacked virtually from the beginning - coming second to Phillipe Gilbert on stage 2, winning stage 4, leading the main contenders up to Super Besse on stage 8, as well as the chase of Frank Schleck up to Luz-Ardiden and Andy Scheleck to Plateau de Beille, attacking with Contador and Sanchez on stage 16 into Gap, etc, etc.
In the super-high mountains he doesn't have the same acceleration as the Schlecks and Contador, but you could see last night that he still drove the main contenders in the chase of Andy Schleck, with everyone else sitting on HIS wheel.
I agree entirely with @Si 9:07am - I think his tactic was to watch Contador, mistakenly thinking that Contador and Bjarne Riis had some magical plan to turn things around on the final climb. By the time he realised that he was actually the strongest climber left in the main group, it was almost too late, and he had to do everything himself.
Which highlights the great tactics from Andy and Leopard.
If he can make time back on Andy and Frank tonight (knowing that Frank will probably attack tonight), he's in with a great chance. If he loses time, it may be all over...
Go Cadel!"

In the same comments section, Brett (who must now feel like a goose) stated "As tough as Cadel is , he is never going to win the tour, to win this race you have to attack in the mountians (sic), being a tempo rider and trying to claim the win with a good time trial is never going to cut it." Craig Schwartz rightly gave him a history lesson, reminding him that precisely such tactics helped Miguel Indurain win the Tour 5 times.
So yeah – Cadel didn’t win the Tour on stage 18 (that happened on Stage 20), but he ensured he didn’t lose it. Gimme an AWE, gimme a SOME.
Other highlights of the best Tour evaaa:

• Johnny Hoogerland’s efforts were amazing – after being hit by a car and consequently thrown into a barbed wire fence, he rode on to finish the stage and keep the King of the Mountains jersey, leading to the now classic phrase for anyone complaining about things being a little bit difficult: “Hoogerland the F*ck Up!”
• I don’t know why, but for the first year ever, I think I preferred Paul Sherwen’s commentary over Phil Liggett. That guy sure knows a lot about obscure stuff. Incidentally, I ran into him at Tour Down Under last year and said "Paul Sherwen?!? You're a legend...and you know you are!" (incidentally, I had been drinking up at Willunga a fair bit that day...)
• SBS even played "Mountains" by Biffy Clyro - for mine, the best Tour de France Mountain Song of all time (apart from "Mountain Song" by Jane's Addiction).
• I also discovered the Sag Wagon podcast by Sam Pang, Dave Culbert, and Sophie Smith, and which was a very enjoyable way of re-enjoying each stage the day after. Thanks to them I found a new appreciation for Anthony Tan's microphone technique, and even discovered my own favourite Chateau of the Day (Chateau de Laroque in Toirac).
• A post-Tour highlight was Mia Freedman questioning the importance of the win, and being told in no uncertain terms that it is the most important thing in the world (Dave Culbert tweeted via @Culbert_Report to @miafreedman "Cadel spent y'day not bragging about win in biggest annual sporting event. You spent it bragging about shopping at Sass & Bide").

As for lowlights, quite apart from the ol' standard gripes about Scott Sunderland's T-shirt and Tina Arena's appearance, for mine it was Thomas Voeckler's performance, along with that of his his teammate Pierre Rolland. Or, rather, everyone else going about how great they were. I understand he put in a good effort to get and then keep the yellow jersey, but let's be honest - he only got it because he had raced off on Stage 9 whilst the peleton was being cut to pieces by accidents, including two of his breakaway compatriots being hit by that car. He then held on by riding on everyone else's wheel. In particular, on the infamous Stage 18 where Cadel did his amazing "job of work" (in the immortal words of Paul Sherwen) to make time back on Andy Schleck, Voeckler was the only rider with a teammate in the chasing group, yet both of them sat back (figuratively speaking, it was probably a bit difficult riding in the Alps) and let Cadel do all the hard work. Even though it was only by this effort that Voeckler was able to keep yellow! Then, the following day, Rolland does it again by sticking on Sammy Sanchez's wheel to get up the mountain, then attacking him and Contador at the end to win on Alpe d'Huez.

At least, that's how I saw it.

But enough lowlights! The real highlight obviously came the following day with Cadel's win the following day in the Grenoble time trial, especially when both he and Andy were on the road at the same time, and Cadel's time ticked him over to being in the virtual maillot jaune. Ahhh, much celebration at Fed Square that night with the other 20 people watching it on the big screen...

As we all know, Cadel had come second twice, and was then able to finally win on the Champs d'Elysees. Not too shabby.

Another rider in a similar position was Mark Cavendish, who had also come second in the race for the green jersey twice before, and was then also able to literally win that prize on the Champs d'Elysees, as well as the stage. Chapeau, Missile de Manx!

Sadly, another cyclist who had also come second in the GC twice before was Andy Schleck - he was destined to come second a third time. But he's young - he'll have his chances again! He was also very gracious in defeat. I especially loved his subtle dig at Contador when congratulating Cadel, saying he thought Cadel deserved the win in 2011, though not so much the winner of the year before...
Finally, I'll finish my CADEL IS ACE rant with a comment that actually has some positive advice, as well:

"CADEL Evans will long be remembered for his feat in becoming the first Australian to win the Tour de France. And after a lifetime of hard training and courageous riding with injuries he will rightly be enriched by the flood of sponsorships that follow the yellow jersey like night follows day.
However, Cadel has unwittingly also pointed out a way in which every working Australian can save a million dollars and improve their personal fitness simply by swapping a second car for a bicycle.
Using realistic calculations and assuming a modicum of financial discipline, the million dollar aim or shaving 13 years off your mortgage is not a mere fantasy.
"A lot of people run a second car without a clear idea of what it is costing them -- if you run the numbers you'll find the bomb is costing you a bomb," said Bicycle Victoria chief executive Harry Barber.
"There is so much more people could be doing with that money than burning it up in a vehicle that spends 94 per cent of its life doing nothing."
I have checked Harry's numbers and if anything they are conservative - he has assumed the car is second-hand rather than new and is parked for the bargain basement price of $12 a day, a deal many city workers would grab if only they could find it.
On the other side of the equation, the capital and running costs for the bike are assumed at $1000 a year, which if anything is a little on the high side.
That leaves a net difference of $10,000 a year or $833 a month which is a significant sum in anybody's language.
The magic million dollars arrives if you do away with the second car at the age of 25 and stick with the bike until you retire and grows to an extra $3.58 million if salary sacrificed into superannuation instead.
But even a 45-year-old shedding two wheels and a motor for the commute would save an
impressive $358,000 or an extra $677,490 in superannuation.
If you add in a dose of realism with a mixed commute of public transport for when the weather is nasty, it shows the long term benefits of reducing spending and saving the difference or using it to pay off the mortgage early or pad out the super account.
If only US politicians could see the benefits of cutting spending and debt so clearly."

Hmmm...went a bit Tea Party at the end there, actually, but I'm all for the "On yer bike" sentiment.

Go Cadel.

Yellin' For Cadellin'!!!

I've got a whole bunch of half-drafted posts I need to finish about various issues of high import, such as the carbon tax and religion in schools and Star Wars, but I'm just going to continue ignoring them for a bit and get straight to the most important news ever: Cadel rode the time trial of his life last night, almost winning the stage (only coming second to Tony Martin by 7 seconds), but more importantly - taking almost 3 minutes on Andy Schleck and setting himself up to be the first Australian winner of the Tour de France!!!
Don't get me wrong - I like Andy (and Frank, for that matter - "the Schleck Girls" as my mate Dave calls them) - but he's young and will have plenty of opportunities to win the Tour in future - he can win all of them as far as I'm concerned. But Cadel's got this one. And that's enough for me (and I've been putting in the same time and effort staying up late and watching every stage of the Tour de France for the last five years as Cadel has riding it).
Much like a Saints premiership - I don't need to see years of dominance - I'll be very happy to see just one.
While on that topic, I'm pretty sure that there are only two possible sporting outcomes this year: 1. Cadel loses the Tour de France and the Saints also don't win a premiership, and 2. Cadel wins the Tour de France and the Saints do win the premiership. I can't think of any other possibilities.
So, with a looming Tour de France victory for Cadel tonight, it looks like the Saints will be staging a massive come-from-behind AFL victory in October this year.
That's just maths.
Go Cadel!

This Decade's Comedy

Following up the last post, here is some more excruciating gold, this time thanks to my inside contact at Dave Hill Industries...



Now before you laugh, think about it. Did this kid really intend to sound like this on a video accessible world-wide? Or is this instead part of a liberal conspiracy to make religious nutjobs look bad?

Wait. Did I just blow your politically correct mind?

How about you just check out how the song originally sounded?

I assume...

Has that changed your mind about what is or is not a "nu" thang?

Whether or not it has, I think you've earned yourself some fresh new beats from the Bea Stie Boys:

Last decade's comedy

All right. It appears last night didn't work out the way I'd hoped.

So we all need some laffs. Don't we? We do.

And here are some from last decade.

I still can't believe I never knew about this before this decade:



And there are plenty more where that came from here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWCVhGzrAT0&feature=channel. Click that link and then just keep on clicking (did you know that simply clicking the first link makes you 23% more attractive? Facts.)

And for those who like their Gold auto-tuned (I know you've all seen it, I just want it on my permanent record):



Man I love that.

Finally (for now), no discussion/spurious-blog-entry about Last Year's Comedy would be complete without a summary of someone else's ideas about the Top 5 Funniest TV Comedies of 2010. This lists (in ascending order) Louie (CK, that is, not the "draw me a picture" guy), Modern Family, 30 Rock, Community and, of course, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report jointly taking out spurious top spot*: it's like a summary of my perfect night (just add beer).

Enjoy everything, y'all. Even the Saints supporters among you!

*Personally, I would probably put Community at Number 1, but how can I argue with the statement "The Rally was the comedy event of the year"? It had to have been. I was totally there and everything. Next time, Community, send me an invite (or is it just assumed in the name. Oh Em Gee! What have I done!)

Oh, when the Saints (Schoolgirl)...does anything...

I've been avoiding this topic (along with most other Saints-related news lately), but thought it high time I weighed in on the Affair Of The So-Called Saint Kilda Schoolgirl (disclosure: at this point in time the Saints are playing the Blues in a Do-or-Die match).

I've been keeping up with the media coverage as much as possible over the past year, though following her on Twitter has meant that I often got any "news" before the media reported it (if you're interested, her latest account appears to be @KimDuthieWorld, and it looks like she's found "God" - I know she's made some bad decisions but this has got to be her worst...)

One example of the media's Cirque d' Stupé in particular stood out (before the most recent Earth-shattering revelations), when she was interviewed by Kate and Hughesy (who seemed to genuinely have her best interests at heart, whilst trying to get to the bottom of the story) but she came across as a fair ditz, and then she ranted a little a bit about the unfair treatment she received afterwards (including in this blog entry). I support ranting in all its wonderful forms, but really you should understand what you're ranting about first...says Mr Pot in his conversation with Ms Kettle...

Anyhoo. Here's the rilestar's take on the whole sordid saga: I think she's messed up, a confessed liar, manipulative and a bit of a glory-hound, but I also KNOW that she's 17 years old. She's a kid. And although she's caused a fair bit of harm to my beloved football club, I feel sorry for her and hope she can get some help to turn her life around, so that the rest of it is not dominated by all of this sordidity. I know that I wouldn't want to be judged for the rest of my life on what I did as a 17-year old (although my wife can testify that I've improved - take my wife, please, take her (genuinely considered opinion)!!)

This clown was involved in the saga from the beginning, when the Schoolgirl-in-Question (SIQ, for short - sweet acronym) apparently shopped the now infamous nude pics around (#notdickileaks). His primary interest throughout everything should have been the welfare of his clients, but he should also have ensured that no-one was abusing this child. By then having "inappropriate dealings" with her after the matter was apparently all settled, Nixon epically failed on both counts.

I'm totally with my man Nicky Riewoldt on this, who was last week reported to have said that he would would feel "completely let down and would believe the handling of the photo incident had been jeopardised" if they had engaged in a relationship and "if he (Riewoldt) was in a room on his own with Nixon he would punch his lights out".

All in favour of locking Ricky Nixon in a room with Nick Riewoldt say "aye". Motion passed.

In the same report, Sam Gilbert said he would consider a relationship between the Nixon and SIQ to be a "gross breach of trust" (der), while fellow player Nick Dal Santo said he would feel Nixon's ability to look after his interests had been compromised (no shit!)

Just quickly, what the hell was Sam Gilbert thinking when he took nude photos of his teammates, kept them on his computer despite being respectfully asked to delete them, and then showed them to SIQ and obviously gave her access to them so that she could make them available to every person in Australia with an e-mail account and/or an iPhone? If he was thinking anything apart from "this is a terrible idea", he was super-mistaken.

Anyhoo, now that Nixon has been dropped, and the SIQ has found God (Jesus Christ!), I truly hope that, as Ross Lyon intimated last week, the Saints will draw on this to finally turn their season around.

Oh yeah, and that AFL footballers will treat women with respect.

Saints to beat the Blues. C'arn Saints!

Gleesht

I was very pleased to read that David Grohl can't stand Glee.

I tried, really tried, to like this show, by watching an episode directed by Joss Whedon and starring Neil Patrick Harris, no less - surely a Recipe For Gold.
But, unfortunately, everything else included in said Recipe resulted in a Cold Dish of LAME!

If you're not convinced, rather than listen to my spurious cooking metaphors, perhaps you should listen to the Wingman:

Dave Grohl - You Rock.
Jeff Winger - You Rock.
Glee - You Fail to Rock.

rilestar puts it out there

That title couldn't be misconstrued, could it?
Anyhoo, the rilestar has been putting it out there, "it" being his rant. A couple of examples:
In response to the article "Rivers ad campaign 'a deadly deal for women'", regarding a photo used in its latest "Deadly Deals" catalogue featuring "a leggy corpse in fishnets and high heels sprawled under a couch" (and in particular in response to some of the other comments):

"A lot of people (let's not jump to conclusions and call them mysogynists) don't seem to get it, so here's the thing: The issue is not necessarily whether there is a woman or man crushed by that couch. If it were just a picture of any old couch-crushed-corpse, male or female, the ad would just be in poor taste, not necessarily sexist. However, by eroticising the corpse, they are stepping into sexism territory. There is no need to have the corpse wearing sexy fishnet stockings except to eroticise the corpse. Yes: I'm sticking with that phrase, as it's equivalently unpleasant.
What they've ended up doing is having an ad where people get to look at the bottom half of a sexy lady, and they don't need to worry about the top half, or her personality, or anything else about her, because she's dead. Is that how women should be perceived? To use our favourite phrase, should people prefer it when they eroticise the corpse?
Putting a man's legs sticking out, or a woman wearing a long dress or slacks, or a baby's legs, does not have that issue. It's just dumb.
People who don't get this just like to eroticise corpses."

And having a little more "fun", the topic "Tips on tipping: it's a minefield for Aussie travellers" provoked this comment from "JohnT":

"The origin of 'tip' is an acronym: 'to insure promptitude' and you dropped some tin in a box before you were served to get better service. Aussies may be poor tippers but that is because, unlike the appalling workplace laws in the US we actually have insisted that people get paid a fair wage for their work. In the US waiters are paid appallingly or work just for the tips (but do you notice a price differential without a wage overhead? no Sirree Bob). I refuse to feel guilty because in Australia we have decent labour laws and therefore this hospitality scam of having the customer pay extra for the service has never really taken root.
I do tip when in the USA however - at a rate of 15% if the service was great - but 10% if only going through the motions.
I do not tip in Australia as I am fully aware of the fact that these people are paid a fair wage. Also the service from Gen Y is generally either so indifferent as to border on the rude or so familiar (it is Sir and Madam, not "guys") that a tip is not warranted - other than "get a decent haircut, learn some manners and don't say 'like' incessantly when describing the Blackboard Specials. Also, the word Specials does NOT have an apostrophe."

rilestar's response (borrowing liberally from Bill Hicks):

"Hey JohnT. You sound like a lot of fun. I want to hang with you and play Twister.
I'm a Gen-X-er to the max, by the by. Please correct my grammar and punctuation."

That said, his comments regarding tipping in Australia did have some merit.

I also had a more serious comment:

"I only recently found out that it's pretty much expected that you tip a dollar a drink in bars in the US (at least in New York) - this was something like the fourth time we'd been to the States. That said, somewhat sheepishly we started tipping like the Americans do (the bar staff will always ensure you get some dollar bills in your change - once I received $10 change as a $5 note and 5 x $1 notes), and we received great service - long chats with the bar staff, recommendations for things to do or places to go, invites to other places with them, and free drinks! Winning! #tigerblood"

It's now well and truly out there.