Saturday, May 25, 2019

My least popular blog post ever (probably)!

How good is putting stuff in order! It's, like, the best thing about the internet*! 
I recently put together the One True Viewing Order for the Marvel Cinematic Universe (the movies, at least), but I noticed a fair few people putting together lists of the movies from least to most favourite, such as good ol' friend of the Blog**, Scott Mendelson.
Now, Scott's list is wrong (as are all such lists that don't match mine exactly), but to be fair, this is a notoriously difficult process, mostly because they're all pretty good! I even like the ones that most people hate, like Thor: The Dark World and Iron Man 2: Electric Whippy-Loo
The way I've put the list together is to simply work out an order where I look at the movies on either side of an entry, and wonder, if I had to put a movie on, whether I would rather see the next one up the list than the one below it. 
It's that simple (and looking at my list, how "fun" a movie was really helped it move up the list (along with how much it linked in with the broader MCU)).  It's like a really nerdy "Would you rather..."
The controversial thing, and reasoning behind the title of this post, is that I'm not a huge fan of Black Panther (unlike, it seems, the rest of the world ... apart from this guy - “Get elected, mate. Then get back to me” - LOVE IT!). 
I feel like I need to justify this (with the obligatory "I'm not a racist, but..."), even though I shouldn't have to because it's a movie and it's fine and opinions on the internet and like, y'know, whatever.  
But here goes:
The thing I like least about Black Panther is ... Black Panther. Sorry, world (STOP JUDGING ME, YOU WORLD, YOU), but T'Challa is just not that interesting (or, more importantly, fun!). It's a weird movie because the three main antagonists - Killmonger, Ulysses Claue and M'Baku - are all WAY more interesting (not to mention fun, at least when looking at Claue and even M'Baku) than the hero. Shuri's great, too. But the real highlight is Michael B. Jordan's Killmonger. He has a fascinating character development and totally understandable motivations. He’s also (not to put too fine a point on it) a self-made man who wants to break open a super-selfish African nation that has hidden its amazing scientific (but really magic) abilities and literally allowed all of its neighbours to be colonised because otherwise…people would know things about people?
Ironically, the fact that he loses (and dies - spoiler alert!) could be part of the reason I don't really like revisiting this movie (I've seen it three times, I should mention). They shouldn't have killed him off, and he also shouldn't have killed Claue. But what do I know, I just (help, by contributing my hard-earned dollars by buying a few movie tickets and blu-rays to) make Billion Dollar Movies, yo.
I get that the movie is super-important for African-Americans, and Africans, generally (especially native Wakandans...), not to mention "the colonised" the world over. I think the American experience is very important to understanding this movie, and that's why it made so much money in the US … but I'm not American, nor should I be (though I am descended from a race of colonisers … and their convicts … in the Land Down Under).
It's just that when I consider my blu-ray collection, I would literally choose any of the other MCU movies before watching this. 
And this self-described (Australia’s own) coloured person has assured me that’s OK: https://www.cnet.com/news/black-panther-a-marvel-superhero-movie-you-dont-have-to-like/ (incidentally, Mr Van Boom has a BANGING last name). 
But … the movie’s still fine. IT’S THE FREAKING MCU BABY!!!! 
This is a movie and it's fine...
Also, less controversially, I still really like Guardians of the Galaxy but really don’t look forward to rewatching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 ***. So take that, people who would get upset about that...
Anyhoo, here's my now-forever-tainted list, from Least Favourite to Most Favourite (i.e., from 'would least like to watch right now' to ‘would most like to watch right now’, based on my very recent #CountdownToAvengersEndgame watching experience):

22. Black Panther 
21. The Incredible Hulk 
20. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 
19. Thor: The Dark World 
18. Thor 
17. Iron Man 2 
16. Iron Man 
15. Doctor Strange 
14. Captain America: The First Avenger 
13. Iron Man 3 
12. Captain Marvel 
11. Avengers: Age of Ultron 
10. Ant-Man and the Wasp 
9. The Avengers 
8. Guardians of the Galaxy 
7. Spider-man: Homecoming 
6. Ant-man 
5. Captain America: Civil War 
4. Avengers: Endgame 
3. Thor: Ragnarok 
2. Avengers: Infinity War 
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Important Disclaimer: I should mention that this list is liable to change from day to day and moment to moment (for example, I finally saw Endgame again last weekend, and I loved it a lot more the second time and consequently moved it further up the list – it's a truly great finale – come back to me once I’ve seen Far From Home!)

* Or one of the best things. Maybe I should make a list... 
** Does not know blog exists… 
*** Pretty sure that’s racist, though…