I called it! (the sequel)

Moving on to other sports that don't crush my soul ... as much (although I've got very limited success in picking winners here, too): Cycling.

First: Congrats to the God of Thunder. Was hoping for an Australian win, of course, but in a bunch sprint, all i can say is: WHERE WAS ROBBIE MCEWEN!?!?!?!
Secondly, and just as I suspected: Alberto Cheatador has been caught out: Alberto Contador tests positive to banned substance. I don’t care that he claims he’s innocent, or that the amount of steroids found in his system can only be measured in picograms, or that this is the first time I’ve ever heard the words “picogram” or “clenbuterol”.
What I DO care about is that the story also stated:

“Contador was part of the Astana-Würth team that was forced to withdraw from the 2006 Tour de France following doping allegations.
Contador was among five riders named in a doping investigation by Spanish authorities but he maintained his innocence during the scandal.”

Take that!
I choose not to quote the following paragraph, which stated “He never failed a drug test nor was he ever punished by cycling authorities.”
Because that paragraph does not fit my narrative (see, for example, here and here).
Go Saints/Andy Schleck.

PS With the Road Racing World Championships being in Melbourne for possibly the first and only time, I was very much looking forward to seeing these legends live in the lycra'd flesh. But, as usual at this time of year, I'm travelling for work, and had to fly to Brisvegas that day! And also I drank a large quantity after our Grand Final loss and also didn't realise daylight savings had kicked in and therefore missed meeting up with my one-man posse at Fed Square. Moral? It's Andrew Demetriou's fault.
PPS Andy Schleck losing to Cheatador by 39 seconds after he suffered a mechanical problem on the Port de Bales was much like the Saints losing the Grand Final rematch. By that I obviously mean: it was Andrew Demetriou's fault.

And another thing...

What's with Fucking Lionel Richie? Sure, Faith No More did a cool cover of a Commodores song, but give me, a die-hard Saints supporter, a fucking break.
I know a lot of other people had ideas about bands, but I'm astounded that the Weddoes were not even considered.
They reunited to play Grand Final Eve at the Palace, and Mick Thomas is a recognised DIE HARD SAINTS SUPPORTER.
"Under The Clocks", a classic Melbourne song, directly references the Saints getting done at again at the MCG.
Coincidence? No. We get done all the fucking time at the MCG. So probably not my first selection for a pre-Grand Final song at a Saints' Grand Final, but you can't doubt the Weddoes' commitment to Footy.
Plus, the crowd would love their shit. Their Fucking Great Shit: "Father's Day". "Monday's Experts" (another FOOTBALL SONG). "A Ticket in Tatts" (a Dane Swan tribute, if you need). "Scorn of the Women" (AFL Policy, nyah, nyah).
But they went with Lionel Fucking Richie.
So I got there late today.
Lessened my eventual pain (though I stayed to the end - if I was concerned about pain I obviously should have left earlier).
AFL: Next time the Weddoes do a Grand Final Eve gig, book them for the next day. Not only is it courteous, they'll rock your socks off your sock-covered balls.
PS: The opportunity's lost this time 'round, but next time Collingwood wins a Grand Final (let's hope it's not for a while), once the other team's fans have left the ground, it's a victimless crime if the MCG gets attacked by Muslim Vampires. That's all I'm sayin'.

Oh when the Saints, get ****** in the ****

I just sent the following missive to Mr Andrew Demetriou:

"Dear Mr Demetriou
Having now been intimately involved with the football goings-on of the last week and a day (as a Saints member), please let me give you my opinion: a drawn Grand Final should go into extra time to allow the result to be determined on the day.
I say this because, as a die-hard Saints supporter who has now been to three winless Grand Finals in the last 372 or so days, I would have MUCH preferred to have lost last week in extra time than to have gone through this hopeless charade in the past week, only to have an even worse loss today.
I don't care what happened back in 1977 (I lie, of course, because my first memory is from 1977, and it's of my Dad taking me to see Star Wars at the cinema (which was fancy back then), but not taking my younger brother because he might be scared of Chewbacca...but we're talking footy now...)
I know it's "tradition", but people had nothing to do in 1977 (plus it was North Melbourne and Collingwood: Two Dud Teams (no disrespect intended - my team just lost a Grand Final today, I'm sure you understand)).
But this week, weddings were cancelled or moved, the women's elite road cycling race was ignored, families were abandoned by Saints supporters who have little time as it is, and even fans were abandoned (by the AFL: BAM!!!)
All so that Collingwood supporters could feel the much the same as they would have if they had won last week (although there's a good argument they would have felt better last week, which would have been a great win in the circumstances) and ALSO so that Saints supporters could feel much, much worse, and waste a lot of time and money to boot.
In case you're interested, I am super-demoralised. I'm wishing Lenny had not kicked that point last week, so we would have instead lost by one point, and taken solace from our ability to come from behind and almost snatch victory, instead of being completely annihilated in a "replay" one week later. And I mean no disrespect to the players: today was just one day. But, man, Collingwood killed us today, and there was no need to put the players and the supporters through that - if the rules allowed for extra time in a Grand Final.
For the sake of future fans in future finals, please Mr AFL: Change the Rules.
If it helps, and for the record, my son (a Saints member all his life) plays soccer.
And they have extra time in soccer.
And as of today I'm a lot more interested in soccer myself (I'm not threatening. I'm just, y'know, saying. The obvious).
Thanks for reading (or having one of your minions read).
Rile(star)"

Still. GO SAINTS.

It was the best of times...

...it was the blurst of times.
The best was most of the game until maybe half-way through the last quarter.
The blurst? Everything since.
Man, this sucks.
I know one thing: Geelong is no longer my second team. They are close to sixteenth (obviously allowing for any South Australian teams to remain below them).
Ahhhh. It feels good to really despise a team - we Saints don't have any real rivalries, but this is the beginning of a beautiful one.
Onya Maxy. Pity you couldn't play on the day, and you'll be missed.
And despite some people singing his praises and betting that he would win the Norm Smith at odds of 101 to 1, according to Rohan Connolly, Raph Clarke should have made way for Maxy on the day.
That said, we still love ya, boys. We're used to disappointment and loss and the crying and the losing of the sunglasses and licking of the strangers after the game.
Next year, yadeyadeyada.
PS Onya Cadel, too. That's what I'm talkin' about.

What a Raph-elation!

Some commentators out there think it's big and/or clever to bag people who are just having a go. Case in point: there was an article in The Age a few weeks ago about each footy team having a scapegoat for when things go wrong, and the poor recipient of this low type of behaviour in the St Kilda Football Club tends to be Raphael Clarke.
But I watched him last night in the Collingwood v Saints Qualifying Smashing and I must say that, much like his TMNT namesake, with the right encouragement he just gets better and better.
He was holding tackles, nearly kicked his first goal of the year, and pushed Magilla Ma-Rocca around to such an extent that I believe Raph now Owns him!
So good on ya, Raph - don't listen to the haters.
The Norm Smith is yours to lose.

Why not 20 teams?

OK. So the AFL have officially snubbed Tassie, despite its awesome map, telling them they won't get their own licence for a footy team: Tassie out but not dead.
Now, I don't profess to know anything about anything - that's why I have a blog, not a newspaper - but two areas of Australia crucial to the past and present success of the AFL are currently missing out - Tasmania and the Northern Territory. I realise these areas may not have big populations (and therefore won't be as lucrative), but that shouldn't be everything (plus, see my future blog about my future plans for the North...)
We all know that His Royal Worshipfulness, Andrew Demetriou, won't budge from his plan to launch teams in Western Sydney and the Gold Coast, but instead of saying "either/or", why not go all out and add 4 teams instead of 2?
Plus, 18 is a weird number: 20 is divisible by 4 (and 5. And 10. And 20. Not 9, but who wants to be divisible by 9?) - surely that's important.
Of course, my preferred plan, with a nod in the direction of Monty, the legendary World War II Allied Commander, would be to outflank Western Sydney and the Gold Coast by launching Tasmania and Northern Territory first. The Australian Football League would then have teams in all 6 States and one Territory. That seems pretty 'Australian' to me. And Western Sydney and the Gold Coast would then have no choice but to jump on board.
It would be un-Australian not to.
PS I should mention that I'm a Saints supporter, and won't be switching, and hope that any suggestions that the Mighty Saints should move to Tassie would be arrogantly dismissed with a snooty wave (despite our proud association with the Apple Isle - "He's Darrel BALDOCK!!"). But I still think the fine people of Tassie deserve their own team.