Things I've learned in the past week or so...

(Or how I learned to stop writing long blog posts and just get this stuff out there, short-stuff Twitter-style)

A few things I've learnt this week:

• Alberto Cheatador got nailed (and I got to see Lance many, many times up close and personal at the Tour Down Under -BAM!)
  
• Apparently I'm to blame for Angus and Julia and Stone getting the No.1 spot in the Hottest 100, even though I did not and would not vote for them (my No.1 song of the year was "Tighten Up" by the Black Keys, but I consistently have my thumb off the pulse of what the general public like, as evidenced by my failure to watch a single episode of Masterchef, combined with my constant ability to watch shows that get cancelled or placed at weird times or on weird stations (Community, 30 Rock, even Buffy), plus predicting that no-one liked John Howard or (heaven forbid) that Peter Costello would be better than Howard...and so forth. Come to think of it, my inability to see eye-to-eye with the public-at-large could be why I rant...)
  
• Ricky Gervais is an hilarious atheist
• Douchebaggery
• Privatising our public transport has meant we've paid a billion dollars for worse service (but of course if you read this blog, and the fact you just read that previous sentence indicates you do, you already know that)
• By putting the maintenance of the surplus above climate change reform (and, indeed, common sense, by taxing people a small amount for a lot of grief), Julia Gillard really doesn't know what she's doing there.

That last bullet point of learning is very disappointing. I (and an entire country, besides) have given her a chance, but it's just getting worse. The right-wing crazies were already howling for her blood, but the progressives don't seem too keen on what she's been doing either.
Some bold decisions need to be made - the flooding we've seen this year is likely to become a frequent occurrence (as early as next week apparently, with some cyclones bearing down on a Queensland that must be full to the brim with homosexuals, assuming you're into the whole Wrath Of God thing), and we've already seen other evidence of extreme weather events with not just the bushfires in Victoria, but events all over the world. Ian Lowe, president of the Australian Conservation Foundation, has some good suggestions in his article "Drowning in a hothouse", mostly to do with acknowledging there's a problem and putting a price on carbon pronto, as well as investing in public transport, phasing out multibillion-dollar subsidies of fossil fuel production and use, and investing in clean energy. Y'know, obvious stuff. Also, I'm no engineer, but I also wonder if there shouldn't be some kind of huge nation-building program undertaken to divert water that would otherwise cause flooding through the Great Dividing Range and into the Murray-Darling river system - #twobirdsonestone. Twitter-style!
Plus the ongoing debacle that is the resource rent tax (or the "Some minerals extraction tax", or "Oil-and-coal-companies-can-you-lend-me-a-fiver-scheme", or whatever it's going to end up as) really sticks in my ... anyone? Anyone? "Craw" - That's right - its sticks in my motherlovin' craw. To add insult to injury about our Government's limp-wristed approach to this issue, an Associate Professor at the University of Melbourne, Peter Christoff, decided to rub our noses in it a bit (with good intentions), telling us that:

"Mesmerised by the short-term benefits of successive mineral booms and shackled to their revenue flows, Australian governments have become both increasingly reluctant and increasingly politically terrified to regulate the pace of exploitation of these resources or to seek their full worth. And because returns to the state have been spent immediately, governments have become addicted to the income stream and unable to slow the exploitation of resources that have no future, such as coal and, eventually, gas, if we are to take climate change seriously.
We have been told over and again that this development path was the only choice for Australia, which doesn't have the public capital base to invest in exploration and exploitation of its non-renewable natural resources.
Strange, then, that a small nation such as Norway - population 5 million - should have had the capacity to do so. Stranger still that Norway could use revenue from its oil and gas windfall to establish a national fund that is now a major investor in economic development both in Norway and overseas, guaranteeing a revenue stream to fund the very robust Norwegian welfare state - its health, transport, public housing, and social security system."

Ahhh, jeez. I'm just gonna go to the Big Day Out and watch the Black Keys, to calm my nerves.

Speaking of which, here's that favourite song of mine from last year:

What's that? The Black Keys have cancelled their Australian tour?
Motherfuck!
All right, I'll just watch Ricky Gervais being funny again:

Stating the obvious

So, Connex is no longer in control of out trains, having lost the contract. Whoop-dee-doo, exclamation point.
Don't get me wrong - Connex was lame as, and had to go. But, as many people have been pointing out, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, ad latin, Melbourne's public transport won't be fixed by simply replacing the operator. The Victorian Government is the one really at fault, and those involved will no doubt be hoping that the Victorian public will (a) think they are improving things, rather than (b) punish them at the ballot box.
Fat chance.
It's (b) time.
As RMIT transport academic Paul Mees was reported to have said, the operators were not the problem: "While Connex and Yarra Trams will be no loss, replacing them while leaving the system of privatisation intact will change nothing..."
"The real problem is . . . that nobody is in overall charge of our rail system; nobody is accountable for its performance. Changing the brand name on the sides of the trains and trams won't fix any of these problems."
The sound-biteable Mr Mees is actually a critic of privatisation, bless him, and that's where the problem really lies, but as I've said before - the Government wants to be a step removed from running the public transport system, so they have their "plausible deniability", unquote (I know I already unquoted, I do what I want).
Even worse, although it's common knowledge that the Victorian Government LOVES roads and HATES trains, I had no idea that the Department of Transport, to trick people into thinking that it is independent and objective, simply makes shit up so that rail looks almost as expensive as roads.
If any of you political hacks actually involved in this decepticonation are reading this, just to confirm your own suspicions of self-loathing, you suck SO hard.

I was going to start on the Government's failure on the water stuff, but I'm tired.
Oh, so tired.
Newsflash: Government sucks on water stuff. More to come.

Government by the people, for the investors

Public transport in my fair city is a mess. So a recent report of an Eminent Dude saying that the rail operator, Connex, “should be sacked and management of Melbourne's suburban trains brought back into public hands” was music to my ears.

Hear, hear, Eminent Dude!

Unfortunately, there’s little likelihood that our so-called Government will act on this very sage advice.

Why? I think it’s because Governments generally have realised that, if they outsource problem areas to the private sector (no doubt for a premium), they can set up a buffer between themselves and the public.

Take…I don’t know…public transport, for example.

Public transport was privatised in Melbourne a while ago, ostensibly to increase competition and, thereby, increase efficiency and decrease cost (of course, this reasoning effectively went the way of the dodo long ago – there is now one train provider (Connex) and one tram provider (Yarra Trams)). Unless you live opposite a train station and a tram stop, I doubt there’s much competition going on. Plus you should probably move.

Anyway, despite the fact the original benefits put forward in favour of privatisation seem to have evaporated, privatised public transport remains.

But here’s the thing: when people complain about the operation of public transport these days, they complain to, or about, the private operators.

The Government can even join in!

It has effectively sidestepped a potentially damaging electoral issue.

Prisons are another one. What the hell is a Government doing outsourcing the process of the punishment of crime to the private sector?!? And then I remembered some of the scandals which can occur with jails, including prison escapes (sorry: Prison Breaks), corruption, mistreatment of prisoners, or even the opposite: prisoners getting it too good.

Again, the Government can blame the private operator if any of these things happen, but it’s ‘not their fault’. There’s no votes in prisons, so get rid of them.

What I’m saying is: our Government has no balls.

PS Prisoners get it too good.

Ranting for the good of the public (transport)

Getting back to me naively thinking I can make a difference, and following on from my recent post regarding my correspondence with members of Her Majesty's Commonwealth Ministry, I also wrote a little while ago to various Powers-That-Be regarding public transport in my fair home town of Melbourne, again as a result of an environmental campaign (this time by the petulantly-named organisation "PT4ME2").

The e-mail I sent out is reproduced below, but it was the responses I got that were more interesting, I regret to say:

Dear sirs/mesdames

I am sending this e-mail as a result of the campaign by PT4ME2, and agree with, and impress upon you, all of the below points. I say this even though I live close to the city and quite close to a railway station - other Victorians should also have easy and cheap access to public transport. I personally use public transport and cycle as much as I can, largely because I have two very young children, and want them to enjoy an Australia like the one I grew up in - not a congested, polluted, cesspool (i.e., covered in filthy water from rising, globally-warmed seas).

However, even if you're a global warming cynic, you can't deny that there are more cars on the roads every day, and everyone seems to be getting a lot angrier out there.

Whenever I look at maps of Melbourne, there are two glaring gaps in the rail network: the huge nothingness between the Hurtsbridge and Lilydale lines (where Doncaster and many other Eastern suburbs are) and the pitifully short Glen Waverley line. Rectifying these seem to me two easy fixes to the transport and pollution woes of Melbourne, and (if we allow ourselves to be a little cynical for a few seconds) sure vote-winners. Further changes would bring even larger rewards.

Here's that stuff I agree with, and thanks for reading/contemplating:

Melbourne is growing and more people need transport. With concern about climate change and rising petrol prices, Melbourne's growth is not sustainable without more and better public transport.

Victorians want more people catching public transport, cycling and walking; fewer trucks on our roads, more freight on rail; and fewer kilometres travelled by car and truck.

Public transport should: be fast, frequent, reliable, affordable and safe; grow as Melbourne grows; be available to all Melbournians; and be managed as an integrated, co-ordinated network.

This means bringing forward existing public transport projects, committing to new projects and accelerating programs to move freight off our roads and onto rail.

It also means rejecting new toll roads and road tunnels because they promote dependence on cars and increase greenhouse gas emissions.

The first, very quick, response I got was from Bruce Atkinson, member of the State's Opposition and the Deputy President of the Victorian Parliament's Upper House, the Legislative Council:

I acknowledge and thank you for your email regarding 'Better Public Transport'.
I strongly support improved public transport and I am keen to establish a broader, more visionary, more contemporary response to the needs of the community.
In that context, I am concerned that the recent Eddington Report did little to evaluate and advocate for the needs of mid to outer suburbs.
I am also concerned about the lack of connectivity in our public transport system planning, including the failure to address north-south routes, as well as areas such as Doncaster and Rowville that are not adequately serviced.
I will continue to advocate the need for improved public transport services to the current Government and to work with my colleagues to develop policies for the Liberal Party that are more responsive to community needs.
Yours sincerely,
Bruce Atkinson
MLC Deputy President, Legislative Council
Member for Eastern Metropolitan Region

Not a bad response, really. Less impressive was the response from Lynne Kosky, Victoria's Minister for Public Transport and The Arts:

Thank you for forwarding your email to the Minister for Public Transport and The Arts, this acknowledgment of receipt.

That is the response, word-for-word. I don't even know what it means!!!

But I was the most impressed with what appeared to be a personally written response from the Federal Minister for Finance, Lindsay Tanner:

Dear Riley

Thanks for your email. I apologise for the delay in responding.

Although public transport is a State issue, the Federal Labor Government recognises the importance of public transport – especially in the face of climate change. Our National Platform outlines our commitment to working with State and Territory governments on issues of rail transport and urban public transport.

Last year I made a submission to the Eddington Review urging the State government to reject plans for another tunnel or road in the city, and to invest in public transport. I have attached my submission for your information.

Yours sincerely

Lindsay Tanner
Minister for Finance and Deregulation
Federal Member for Melbourne

www.lindsaytanner.com

The submission (which can be found here) was unequivocally in favour of boosting investment in public transport for Melbourne, and reducing our reliance on roads. Mr Tanner - a Tip of the Hat to you, sir.

PS As a literal post-script, I also got a letter in the post about a month-and-half later from the Department of Transport on behalf of the Minister for Public Transport. This letter assured me that "The Government is expanding public transport in Victoria", and released "Meeting Our Transport Challenges" to assist with this (albeit, in May 2006...)

Nothing like a response from a Government Bureaucracy to reassure you in case you had any delusions that you had a voice in a democracy...