Showing posts with label Democrats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Democrats. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Obama-rama

To quote Professor Farnsworth (at least in part): "Good news, everybody! Hilary Clinton has received some very bad news!"
Yes, last week, John Edwards, the working-people's millionaire, officially endorsed Barack Obama in the Democratic primary race. I was somewhat impressed by Edwards when he was campaigning for someone else to win the nomination (a certain John Edwards), even though the rest of the US appeared not to be.
An Edwards presidency was not to be, but his hold-out and eventual endorsement now raises the tantalising possibility of...an Obama/Edwards ticket - now that would be exciting (in the same way that, I don't know, combining red and white wine in the same glass is exciting)!
It's expected that the democratic nomination will be all but wrapped up by tomorrow, so when you read this blog, Mr Obama, consider this advice: like Clinton, Edwards is white and also aspires to to have an affinity with the working class, but he's got something that Clinton doesn't have: a penis!(1)
And if there's something American voters like, it's penises.
John Edwards could be that penis.
As for Mr and Mrs Clinton (I'm not really sure which is which any more), they put up a good (and dirty) fight, and Hilary would have been an equally historic president, but they should really now just accept defeat graciously, and instead focus their energies on the next stage of their dynastic succession: Chelsea!
By the time she's ready to assume the position, it's possible that America's penis-fixation may have waned enough that they will be prepared to vote for her vajayjay...
We can dare to dream.

(1) Note: Clinton may have a penis.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

We the (male) people

Just after I change the name of my blog, a surprising twist of anti-rantiness in this post: Congratulations to America (a "Tip of the Hat", if you will)!
I've been keeping a close eye on the Democratic primaries (thanks very much to my friends Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert) and it looks like, although all of the black people have obviously been voting for Obama and all of the women
have been voting for Hillary, in the primaries held in Indiana last week, WHITE MEN have finally shown that they might still have some influence in a presidential election.
God Bless/Damn America.
Whilst anti-ranting, congrats also to
Cadel Evans, Australia's favourite cyclist (and anyone who's driven in Melburne knows how much we love cyclists), who recently wore a "Free Tibet" T-shirt during the
Liege-Bastogne-Liege one-day classic.
If he receives any discrimination over this, I will have only one response: BOYCOTT! That's right: I won't watch the Olympics telecast on television.
They will rue the day.
PS I believe China's human rights record is also an acceptabvle reason for boycotting.
PPS Go Cadel, Tour de France '08. I WILL watch that.
PPPS I should point out that Jon and Stephen are my TV friends, not real friends.