Give Fear a Chance

Well, we're at Tullamarine airport, waiting to board the plane that will take us to the States, for our imminent appointment with Messrs Stewart and Colbert at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear!

(Technically, Tash is going to the Rally to Restore Sanity and I'll be attending the March to Keep Fear Alive, but since they're both in the Washinton Mall at the same time, we might as well go together).

I've been asked by @sealfur to provide a report for Boxcutters, and I might see if I can get that on here, too (if I learn how to use technology in the next 24 hours).

If you're going as well, let me know! I'll be the one wearing a Saints guernsey (because Saints are scary...)

Try not to burn Melbourne to the ground while we're gone (although the monsoonal rains should help avoid that)!

JET f**ked!

Witty title, I know.
Went to see the Great Powderfinger in the mud and the wet in Ballarat on the weekend, for what was meant to be the last gig in their "Sunsets" tour (it's now been much extended to finish sometime in 2017. Incidentally, I've been travelling for work and have been in the same city as them 3 or 4 times so far (in, like, Perth and Canberra, of all places), but instead of taking those many opportunities, I instead drove out to Ballarat to see them in the wet and the mud).
Nonetheless, very enjoyable, and v good to see them going out on what appeared to be a high.
They were supported by Paul Dempsey, who was also good, and...JET. Who were...JET.
Allow me to rewind a few years to Powderinger's "Across the Great Divide" Tour, which we saw in Bendigo ("Bendigoin'off!"), when I was a little non-plussed about seeing Powderfinger's support act - Silverchair. But I was very and pleasantly surprised - Silverchair are a great live band and Daniel Johns is of course a genius.
Now, fast forward a few years to this "Sunsets" tour, and I was again non-plussed about seeing Powderfinger's support act - this time: JET. But I was very and unpleasantly shocked into utterly hating this band within approximately two songs. Wow. They suck to the max. I know people seem to like them, but those people don't understand that they have no idea. They've been sucked (there's that word again - coincidence? I don't think so) into the complete vacuosity of this derivative band who don't appear to have a single original idea - including their faux-rock-star "attitude". I was quite astounded. And then, so that I didn't completely waste my time while they were playing, I went through my phone and deleted old text messages.
Burn.
But when Powderfinger came on, all was forgiven. Those guys rock out with their bits and pieces out. And they played both Capoicity and personal fave Thrilloilogy. Plus stuff from Double Allergic (and Ian played a small glimpse of the riff from "Tail" from Parables for Wooden Ears).
Not "My Kind of Scene", but overall, pretty frickin' sweet.
Well worth the mud and the waste of time before they came on.
Vale, 'Finger Dudes.
PS I want to reiterate that Paul Demspey was also great. I was just very surprised to discover how much I hated JET.

I called it! (the sequel)

Moving on to other sports that don't crush my soul ... as much (although I've got very limited success in picking winners here, too): Cycling.

First: Congrats to the God of Thunder. Was hoping for an Australian win, of course, but in a bunch sprint, all i can say is: WHERE WAS ROBBIE MCEWEN!?!?!?!
Secondly, and just as I suspected: Alberto Cheatador has been caught out: Alberto Contador tests positive to banned substance. I don’t care that he claims he’s innocent, or that the amount of steroids found in his system can only be measured in picograms, or that this is the first time I’ve ever heard the words “picogram” or “clenbuterol”.
What I DO care about is that the story also stated:

“Contador was part of the Astana-Würth team that was forced to withdraw from the 2006 Tour de France following doping allegations.
Contador was among five riders named in a doping investigation by Spanish authorities but he maintained his innocence during the scandal.”

Take that!
I choose not to quote the following paragraph, which stated “He never failed a drug test nor was he ever punished by cycling authorities.”
Because that paragraph does not fit my narrative (see, for example, here and here).
Go Saints/Andy Schleck.

PS With the Road Racing World Championships being in Melbourne for possibly the first and only time, I was very much looking forward to seeing these legends live in the lycra'd flesh. But, as usual at this time of year, I'm travelling for work, and had to fly to Brisvegas that day! And also I drank a large quantity after our Grand Final loss and also didn't realise daylight savings had kicked in and therefore missed meeting up with my one-man posse at Fed Square. Moral? It's Andrew Demetriou's fault.
PPS Andy Schleck losing to Cheatador by 39 seconds after he suffered a mechanical problem on the Port de Bales was much like the Saints losing the Grand Final rematch. By that I obviously mean: it was Andrew Demetriou's fault.

It's all Saints to Me, The Sequel

Yep: the Saints finally won one... again...
Unfortunately... not quite the right Saints... again...
Getting warmer, though...

And another thing...

What's with Fucking Lionel Richie? Sure, Faith No More did a cool cover of a Commodores song, but give me, a die-hard Saints supporter, a fucking break.
I know a lot of other people had ideas about bands, but I'm astounded that the Weddoes were not even considered.
They reunited to play Grand Final Eve at the Palace, and Mick Thomas is a recognised DIE HARD SAINTS SUPPORTER.
"Under The Clocks", a classic Melbourne song, directly references the Saints getting done at again at the MCG.
Coincidence? No. We get done all the fucking time at the MCG. So probably not my first selection for a pre-Grand Final song at a Saints' Grand Final, but you can't doubt the Weddoes' commitment to Footy.
Plus, the crowd would love their shit. Their Fucking Great Shit: "Father's Day". "Monday's Experts" (another FOOTBALL SONG). "A Ticket in Tatts" (a Dane Swan tribute, if you need). "Scorn of the Women" (AFL Policy, nyah, nyah).
But they went with Lionel Fucking Richie.
So I got there late today.
Lessened my eventual pain (though I stayed to the end - if I was concerned about pain I obviously should have left earlier).
AFL: Next time the Weddoes do a Grand Final Eve gig, book them for the next day. Not only is it courteous, they'll rock your socks off your sock-covered balls.
PS: The opportunity's lost this time 'round, but next time Collingwood wins a Grand Final (let's hope it's not for a while), once the other team's fans have left the ground, it's a victimless crime if the MCG gets attacked by Muslim Vampires. That's all I'm sayin'.

Oh when the Saints, get ****** in the ****

I just sent the following missive to Mr Andrew Demetriou:

"Dear Mr Demetriou
Having now been intimately involved with the football goings-on of the last week and a day (as a Saints member), please let me give you my opinion: a drawn Grand Final should go into extra time to allow the result to be determined on the day.
I say this because, as a die-hard Saints supporter who has now been to three winless Grand Finals in the last 372 or so days, I would have MUCH preferred to have lost last week in extra time than to have gone through this hopeless charade in the past week, only to have an even worse loss today.
I don't care what happened back in 1977 (I lie, of course, because my first memory is from 1977, and it's of my Dad taking me to see Star Wars at the cinema (which was fancy back then), but not taking my younger brother because he might be scared of Chewbacca...but we're talking footy now...)
I know it's "tradition", but people had nothing to do in 1977 (plus it was North Melbourne and Collingwood: Two Dud Teams (no disrespect intended - my team just lost a Grand Final today, I'm sure you understand)).
But this week, weddings were cancelled or moved, the women's elite road cycling race was ignored, families were abandoned by Saints supporters who have little time as it is, and even fans were abandoned (by the AFL: BAM!!!)
All so that Collingwood supporters could feel the much the same as they would have if they had won last week (although there's a good argument they would have felt better last week, which would have been a great win in the circumstances) and ALSO so that Saints supporters could feel much, much worse, and waste a lot of time and money to boot.
In case you're interested, I am super-demoralised. I'm wishing Lenny had not kicked that point last week, so we would have instead lost by one point, and taken solace from our ability to come from behind and almost snatch victory, instead of being completely annihilated in a "replay" one week later. And I mean no disrespect to the players: today was just one day. But, man, Collingwood killed us today, and there was no need to put the players and the supporters through that - if the rules allowed for extra time in a Grand Final.
For the sake of future fans in future finals, please Mr AFL: Change the Rules.
If it helps, and for the record, my son (a Saints member all his life) plays soccer.
And they have extra time in soccer.
And as of today I'm a lot more interested in soccer myself (I'm not threatening. I'm just, y'know, saying. The obvious).
Thanks for reading (or having one of your minions read).
Rile(star)"

Still. GO SAINTS.

Ebony and Irony

Is it irony that my last post was about the Saints winning one, and my very next post is just before the Real Saints* hopefully win their own?
And while we're on the topic: Is it ironic to use the word "ironic" in a deliberately non-ironic situation?
I submit it would be if you were a Master Of Irony, trying to win the Irony Man Competition, and as your closing statement you deliberately say something you think is ironic that is Not In Fact Ironic.
THAT would be IRONIC!
Coincidentally (though not ironically), that would have to win any Irony Man Competition.
Take that, Ms Morissette! (Loved your work in Dogma, by the way. Call me.)
Anyhoo, I guess I should mention that I’m back on the Rantwagon, mah peeps.
I’ve had a lot of rant-juice building up in my rant duct, and it’s time to Let Loose.
I could say that the reason I haven't posted for a super-long time is because I was waiting for the Saints to get into another Grand Final, or because I'm waiting for Sirmarco to post first (but he's taking fricking forEVER), or even because I need to spend time with my family instead of ranting into the very thin air that is the little-read and over-populated blogosphere.
But let's just blame it on Muslim Vampires. Or Twitter.
Whatever the reason, I'm back.
GO SAINTS.
*No disrespect to the New Orleans Saints, of course, I just have a deep and abiding link to the Saints of St Kilda, both in bayside Melbourne AND in the outlying Scottish island.