Friday, December 10, 2010

All the way with Turn-BJ!!!

Could there be any better way of highlighting the clear differences between current Liberal leader and secret super villain "ClownMan" (TM) (otherwise known as the mild/ill-mannered Tony Abbott), and the man he deposed by a single vote (Malcolm Turnbull: "Turn-BJ" - USE IT!) than by reading the following two relatively recent articles:
  • "Judges' election on cards: Abbott" (wherein ClownMan unthinkingly blurts that it is "almost inevitable" that Australia will adopt the American system of electing judges if courts do not listen to the community and deliver tougher sentencing); and
  • "Political risk in making a martyr of Assange" (wherein Malcolm Turnbull sagely and considerately states "Assange is an Australian citizen. No matter how much the government disapproves of his actions, it should make it clear that he is entitled to return to Australia if he wishes and to receive consular assistance if the charges of sexual assault proceed in Sweden" and "Julia Gillard's claim that Assange had broken Australian laws, when it is clear he has not, demonstrates how out of her depth she is.")
Of course, I always preferred gutless wonder Costello to lying scumbag Howard, so what do I know...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Decline and Fall of the State Labor Government's Empire

Well - it's over.
For the ALP's Victorian Government, that is. Wa-hey!!
And I hate to say "I told you so" but ...
Actually, I think I enjoy saying it. What I really hate saying is "I hate to say "I told you so"" (because I have to say it so often, you see...)
Anyhoo - I told you so! Here, and here and here. And also here quite forcefully. Plus I already mentioned here.
I was half-way through another post railing against the Government that I was going to call "On the Nose" (an enormously witty reference to the former Victorian slogan "On the Move") but they went and got themselves kicked out before I could finish it.
The surprising thing for me was not the result, but the fact that everyone else seemed surprised about the result. I thought I was alone in predicting the Labor Government would go down this election, but to be fair, a few other commentators (or "professional journalists", if you want to get accurate about it) also recognised the danger signs, like Paul Austin of The Age back in February ("Labor's tide begins to turn") and David Rood in March, after the Altona by-election ("The Sorry Factor").
I'm not saying I'm jumping for joy about it - I'm just being self-congratulatory for picking it.
One of my biggest sore points was the Hotel Windsor debacle, which involved the leak of a plan by the Minister for Clowning - Justin Madden - and/or his staff to have a sham consultation into the development of the hotel, followed up with an immediate approval of the project after the leak, and a refusal to allow any of his staff to testify at the subsequent inquiry. As stated in the article "Arrogant executive should be brought to heel in Windsor case":
"DEFIANCE of the law by the government is one of the most serious things that can occur in any democracy. It is a breach of the rule of law, the most fundamental value on which our constitutional arrangements are based. It is precisely this sort of dangerous defiance that the Victorian government is engaged in with its refusal to co-operate with a parliamentary inquiry into the Hotel Windsor planning processes - and it is doing so under the cover of a bogus "parliamentary convention".
"The time has come for the Victorian Legislative Council, the upper house of the Parliament, to take severe action against the executive and to establish the point once and for all that the Parliament's legitimate role must be accepted."
So - their lack of respect for democracy stuck in my craw somewhat.
Plus there was all that stuff they ignored or tried to hide about public transport (and myki), and smart meters, and the desal plant and the Port Phillip Bay dredging and BAD PLANNING and...
You get the idea.
It's unlikely that Baillieu will be able to fix many if any of these problems. But a democratically elected Government that fails to abide by the central tenets of democracy deserves to get democratically kicked in the ar$e.
Baillieu - you're next in the cross-hairs on my boot. Get to work.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

How to watch TV without watching TV

Continuing on from my last post about our mentalist one-week trip to the States, the day after the Rally we braved a train to New York (despite it being scary and Halloween), for what turned out to be a 5-day TV/BeerFest (without really watching any TV ... and drinking a lot of Beer).
First order of business: seeing both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in Washington DC was clearly not enough - we were determined to go to tapings of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, too.
We had hoped to go to one or both shows when we were in New York back in 2007, but they just happened to start a writer's strike THE DAY WE TOUCHED DOWN IN THE U.S., so we were unable, that time around (note my sad face and the "No Show Today" sign in the window in the photo below, which would stay in the window at least until we left the country):

This time, in 2010, was our chance to make amends.
The main problem, of course, was actually getting tickets. Although the shows are free, they are ticketed.
Now, I thought that, since we were making the effort to fly half-way around the world to attend their Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive, the least Messrs Stewart and Colbert could do would be to let us attend a taping or two whilst in New York. Plus, Australians are so, like, adorable, right?
I thought wrong. And no.
E-mails went unanswered, a tweet to @ColbertReport of "Hey! My wife and I are flying from Australia for the March. We're AFRAID we won't also get tix to the Report - little help?" also received no love. And, according to Comedy Central's website, they don't even open snail mail. So it seemed that the ONLY way to get tix was via the websites themselves, at http://www.thedailyshow.com/tickets and http://www.colbertnation.com/tickets.
Unfortunately, every time I logged on to those sites, they reinforced the lack of fortune and said "Unfortunately, there are no tickets available to see The Colbert Report/The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at this time. Check back soon to secure your tickets or sign-up below to receive e-mails letting you know when new dates open up" (just as they probably will NOW if you hit those links). After many attempts I naturally concluded the internet was broken, because there were NEVER tickets available.
However, and in a reversal of the Fortune-Lack, a few weeks before we left I discovered (like I'm Magellan) a Twitter account that constantly updates when tickets become available: @dailytix. Thanks to this service, and my near-constant monitoring of Twitter (just kidding, boss, if you read this!! Everyone else: I'm not kidding), we managed to get tickets to The Daily Show about 2 weeks before we left for the States. And then, whilst still in DC just before we caught our train to New York, we managed to score two tickets to The Colbert Report for the show being taped the VERY NEXT DAY!
So, after arriving in New York, checking into the Bowery Hotel in the East Village - a great place in a great location, just one block from the former CBGBs - and then partaking in the Greenwich Halloween Parade and many, many microbrews, we recovered on the Monday and made our way to The Report's studio on 54th Street. Thanks to arriving pretty early (around 4:30pm for a 7pm taping), we were something like 20th in line, and dead-certs to get in (although we had tickets, they overbook (since they're free, people tend to not turn up), so they still recommend that you get there early if you want to be sure about getting in).

For an idea of what to expect (e.g., in the queue, once clearing security, in the actual studio), I recommend reading one of these highly informative reporTs, all of which involve stories better than mine:
The warm-up guy for us was the very funny and charming Julian McCullough, who asked if anyone was from out of town. Our hands shot up, and we surprised him by apparently being the first Australians in the history of the show to proudly announce "Yes, We Are Convicts", before he had a chance to.
A very cool thing about attending the tapings is that, before every show, Stephen comes out and allows the audience to ask him questions, about anything, out of character. There are some examples of very good questions in the reporTs above, but I did manage to get his attention and wittily ask: "Would you ever think about getting John Travolta to fly a planeload of your audience out to Australia?" To which he frustratingly replied, with a twinkle in his eye: "You seem to know the way!" and moved on to the next question.
NOOOOOOO!!! I really wanted to know if he would think about coming to Australia! Plus I forgot to mention that we flew over just for the Rally (like I've told everyone else I've ever met)!!
However, I got a hint of why he may have moved on from my question so quickly the next night at the taping of The Daily Show, when another Australian in the audience right behind me boringly asked Jon "When are you coming to Australia?" YAWN!! Can't you Australians think of anything else to ask? Especially since (as we were told by staff when we were in the queue for The Report) they have had at least one Australian in the audience EVERY NIGHT since The Colbert Report began!
So if I can offer some advice: if you're Australian, don't even think about asking "When are you coming to Australia?" (even if asked cleverly and topically like me) - ask something interesting about Watership Down or Large Fruit-based sculptures like the ladies above.
Anyhoo - the shows were great. The episode of the Colbert Report was the first one after the Rally, which started with Stephen doing his "Steph Colbert's Hobby Hovel" in front of a green screen (right in front of us - the studio really is small, and we were only about 4 rows back, so we were super-close) and we all had to practise and then perform the song "It's the Greatest, Strongest Country in the World" ("From North to South and East to West and diagonally!") along with Stephen when he went through some Rally highlights, as well as at the end. Plus Stephen looked right at me after one of his jokes, knowing that I get his stuff, and we also both wear glasses.
And The Daily Show we went to the following night was the live election special (on 2 November - the day of the mid-term elections) which was also very exciting. Although the guests weren't super-famous for either show, at The Daily Show taping we were blessed with seeing not 1, not 2, not 3, not 5, but FOUR of the regular correspondents: Aasif Mandvi, Olivia Munn, Jason Jones and John Oliver (wearing his green-screen suit)! We just needed a Wyatt Cenac or a Sam Bee for a full house! (though we did run into Kristen Schaal in The Pony Bar in Hell's Kitchen after the show - did you know she's a horse? Incidentally, The Pony Bar is one of many, many great bars in NY with many, many microbrews on tap - check it: http://www.theponybar.com )
So, anyway, after the two tapings, and speaking to some of the legends involved, I think I can very safely and humbly say: "TV Cha-Ching!!!"
In all seriousness, it's great to watch both the shows now and picture how it all fits together behind-the-scenes (especially when we get glimpses of the scary security guys who just watch the audience the whole time ready to open up multiple cans of W-A. For a comedy show, they sure look like they want to dismember some audience members).
Our TV Adventures didn't stop there, though.
The same night we saw The Colbert Report, we managed to then get into another show - the script reading of a movie based on Glenn Beck's book "The Overton Window" - at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater (which, since we're speaking about TV, was started by, amongst others, Amy Poehler, and includes such alumni as The Daily Show's Rob Corrdry and Ed Helms). They promised a special guest, and they delivered when Chris Meloni (Elliott from Law and Order: SVU, as well as a scary man from Oz (the prison drama, not the colloquialism referring to Peter Allen)) walked out and sat 3 metres away from us!
TV Cha-ching!
The next day at our hotel we were accompanied into the elevator by a dashing and familiar young man. Tash couldn't help herself and simply asked: "You're in something aren't you?" He was gracious and suggested helpfully that he was currently in the TV series "Bored to Death (questioning shrug?)", whereupon Tash wrinkled her nose and said That's Not It. He took it in his stride and was very friendly, though, and told us he loved Melbourne and would live there if he could (Go Melbs)! Back in our hotel room we fell back on good ol' reliable IMDB and discovered he was Jason Schwartzman (and that he'd been in The Darjeeling Limited, which is what Tash recognised him from, among many others things)!!
TV Cha-ching!
We also went to another comedy show another night (at Comic Strip Live - although it seemed like a bit of a tourist trap, they claim it's the "legendary home of Jerry Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy, Paul Reiser, Carol Leifer, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Ray Romano and more") and Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock was the first of the infinite number of comics they had on. He actually wasn't very funny, but he's on TV!
TV Ka-Boing!
Plus William Stephenson, who played the bus driver in the first episode of Louie CK's show "Louie", was the MC.
TV Mini-Ching!
Ummm...and we also went to Carrie's apartment and Magnolia Bakery in the West Village...
TV A-hem!
The New York Comedy Festival also just happened to be on while we there, and we were tempted to extend our trip by an extra day just so that we could see Joel McHale's (of Community and The Soup fame) stand-up show at Carnegie Hall on the night we left, before realising that New York is the worst place in the world to say "We'll just extend our holiday each day there's something we'd like to go to" ... and so we let it go.
But basically what I'm saying, in case I didn't make it clear, is that we managed to squeeze in a lot of TV experiences in our 5 days in New York without really watching any Cathode Rays. You could say we had a Cathode Rays-Ban!
I am very glad that my writings have led me to type that sentence.
Before I wrap it all up, we also managed to squeeze in some movie experiences, combined with a liberal helping of AWESOME, by hitting the New York edition of Lebowski Fest at Brooklyn Bowl the night before we left (this is something we actually did extend the trip for).

I only found out about Lebowski Fest last year, and never imagined that one day I would actually be able to see, in the flesh, the many people dressed up as The Dude, Valkyrie Maude and Baby Nihilists, the many people drinking white russians ... and bowling.
If you're interested, this is a link to a news item about the night we were there: http://vimeo.com/16722086
The organisers also booked the obligatory cock rock band to finish off the night: Diamondsnake.
And yes, that's Moby in the picture on the left (not just a dude who looks like Moby) shredding on the guitar. We also recognised the bassist, but couldn't quite place him, until we realised it was Dave Hill, who was also one of the "stars" of The Overton Window script reading at the UCBT: Craziness!
The lead singer also plays in a Bee Gees tribute band: Tragedy!
Seriously - "Tragedy" is the name of the band.
Gold.
Below is a video of Diamondsnake playing "D-Snake Riot" that night:



I could go on (for example, our A380 plane was mysteriously absent from LA airport on Friday 5 November), but I think you've read enough.
Congratulations - you are an Achiever - and take 'er easy.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Rally to Restore Virginiaty

We're baaack!
Actually, we've been back for a week, but I've been tired and sick and also my record for punctual posting is pretty pathetic. Pwnage (I've wanted to use that expression for a while).
Nonetheless, it was great trip. It was, in fact, the biggest television experience of our lives, magically achieved without watching a single pixel of television.
But first: The Rally! The entire reason for our trip was to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear in Washington DC.
When it was first announced by Jon (and then Stephen), I originally thought "I wish I lived in America, because that would be great to go to." By the next night, I had seriously started thinking about flying over (but shook my head, slapped my own face (Jane's Addiction-style) and said "pull yourself together, rilestar!") By the third night, I had checked my work schedule (I could fit in a week's holiday), checked with the wife (she wouldn't mind a quick trip to the States and back), and the parents and parents-in-law (who confirmed they could look after the kids or at least periodically re-fill their food bowls). A week later, we booked our tickets, and then on Friday 29 October, we flew to LA on a big Qantas A380 (more on that later) and walked into our hotel room in DC 26 hours later (but still on the 29th of October, thanks to the miracles of Science!)
We had no idea how big (or small) the Rally would be, but the lady I was sitting next to on the plane from LA to DC was also going, as well as another couple nearby who overheard us talking about it, which made 5 people per 4 square metres in that piece of real estate alone. Then everyone except for two people on the shuttle bus from Washington Dulles Airport (technically in Virginia - hence the witty title to this post) had flown in just for the rally, and when we went out in Georgetown that night (still not having slept a wink since leaving Melbourne), the first guy we sat down next to in our first of many bars was also going to the rally. Back in the hotel, a couple we chatted to in the elevator were also going.
So, based on our market research, it was going to be Big, and we would need to get there early.
We got up late.
We also then struggled to get on a train - the first two that came by were completely chockas - they couldn't spare a square! Finally, when the third one came by, we begged and pleaded with the squashed commuters to let us on - "We flew all the way from Australia for this!!!" I recall someone crying hysterically - and a kind and generous and large and bearded man in the doorway wearing a T-shirt saying "Han Shot First" allowed us to squeeze on, despite the protestations of a skinny and unkind and bearded woman about 10 metres away from the doorway.
That said, we were luckier than the many people living in surrounding States (like Maryland, Delaware and VIRGINIA), who were similarly unable to get on trains and who didn't have the option of walking like we were about to ... or a large Star Wars fan called Bill who would allow them on to His train).
So we arrived at the Mall a little late. And the closest we were able to get to the stage (at least until the Rally finished) was just over 7th Street (and the stage was around about 3rd St).
But it was still gooooood.
As I will allow my video to demonstrate:


This is also my pretty shaky report for Boxcutters, recorded not with a camcorder, as one would expect, but with my eeepc laptop's webcam. Enjoy the choice I made:


(If anyone wants me to film and edit your wedding or bar mitzvah, let me know. I'M AVAILABLE).
And since the signs were such a big part of the day (I really regret not getting my ar$e into gear and printing up our Oz-centric signs "I am Australia - and so can you!" and "Dropbears are REAL, people!") this is a link to a hundred of the best: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-100-best-signs-at-the-rally-to-restore-sanity
This has all probably been a lot to take in, and since we left DC (and Virginia) the day after the Rally for New York (New York), I think I'll finish off my stuff about our magical TV adventure in another post.

But it does involve more Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, in case you're wondering...

Friday, October 29, 2010

Give Fear a Chance

Well, we're at Tullamarine airport, waiting to board the plane that will take us to the States, for our imminent appointment with Messrs Stewart and Colbert at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear!
(Technically, Tash is going to the Rally to Restore Sanity and I'll be attending the March to Keep Fear Alive, but since they're both in the Washinton Mall at the same time, we might as well go together).
I've been asked by @sealfur to provide a report for Boxcutters, and I might see if I can get that on here, too (if I learn how to use technology in the next 24 hours).
If you're going as well, let me know! I'll be the one wearing a Saints guernsey (because Saints are scary...)
Try not to burn Melbourne to the ground while we're gone (although the monsoonal rains should help avoid that)!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

JET f**ked!

Witty title, I know.
Went to see the Great Powderfinger in the mud and the wet in Ballarat on the weekend, for what was meant to be the last gig in their "Sunsets" tour (it's now been much extended to finish sometime in 2017. Incidentally, I've been travelling for work and have been in the same city as them 3 or 4 times so far (in, like, Perth and Canberra, of all places), but instead of taking those many opportunities, I instead drove out to Ballarat to see them in the wet and the mud).
Nonetheless, very enjoyable, and v good to see them going out on what appeared to be a high.
They were supported by Paul Dempsey, who was also good, and...JET. Who were...JET.
Allow me to rewind a few years to Powderinger's "Across the Great Divide" Tour, which we saw in Bendigo ("Bendigoin'off!"), when I was a little non-plussed about seeing Powderfinger's support act - Silverchair. But I was very and pleasantly surprised - Silverchair are a great live band and Daniel Johns is of course a genius.
Now, fast forward a few years to this "Sunsets" tour, and I was again non-plussed about seeing Powderfinger's support act - this time: JET. But I was very and unpleasantly shocked into utterly hating this band within approximately two songs. Wow. They suck to the max. I know people seem to like them, but those people don't understand that they have no idea. They've been sucked (there's that word again - coincidence? I don't think so) into the complete vacuosity of this derivative band who don't appear to have a single original idea - including their faux-rock-star "attitude". I was quite astounded. And then, so that I didn't completely waste my time while they were playing, I went through my phone and deleted old text messages.
Burn.

But when Powderfinger came on, all was forgiven. Those guys rock out with their bits and pieces out. And they played both Capoicity and personal fave Thrilloilogy. Plus stuff from Double Allergic (and Ian played a small glimpse of the riff from "Tail" from Parables for Wooden Ears).
Not "My Kind of Scene", but overall, pretty frickin' sweet.
Well worth the mud and the waste of time before they came on.
Vale, 'Finger Dudes.

PS I want to reiterate that Paul Demspey was also great. I was just very surprised to discover how much I hated JET.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I called it! (the sequel)

Moving on to other sports that don't crush my soul ... as much (although I've got very limited success in picking winners here, too): Cycling.
First: Congrats to the God of Thunder. Was hoping for an Australian win, of course, but in a bunch sprint, all i can say is: WHERE WAS ROBBIE MCEWEN!?!?!?!
Secondly, and just as I suspected: Alberto Cheatador has been caught out: Alberto Contador tests positive to banned substance. I don’t care that he claims he’s innocent, or that the amount of steroids found in his system can only be measured in picograms, or that this is the first time I’ve ever heard the words “picogram” or “clenbuterol”.
What I DO care about is that the story also stated:
“Contador was part of the Astana-Würth team that was forced to withdraw from the 2006 Tour de France following doping allegations.
Contador was among five riders named in a doping investigation by Spanish authorities but he maintained his innocence during the scandal.”
Take that!
I choose not to quote the following paragraph, which stated “He never failed a drug test nor was he ever punished by cycling authorities.”
Because that paragraph does not fit my narrative (see, for example, here and here).
Go Saints/Andy Schleck.
PS With the Road Racing World Championships being in Melbourne for possibly the first and only time, I was very much looking forward to seeing these legends live in the lycra'd flesh. But, as usual at this time of year, I'm travelling for work, and had to fly to Brisvegas that day! And also I drank a large quantity after our Grand Final loss and also didn't realise daylight savings had kicked in and therefore missed meeting up with my one-man posse at Fed Square. Moral? It's Andrew Demetriou's fault.
PPS Andy Schleck losing to Cheatador by 39 seconds after he suffered a mechanical problem on the Port de Bales was much like the Saints losing
the Grand Final rematch. By that I obviously mean: it was Andrew Demetriou's fault.

It's all Saints to Me, The Sequel

Yep: the Saints finally won one... again...
Unfortunately... not quite the right Saints... again...
Getting warmer, though...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

And another thing...

What's with Fucking Lionel Richie? Sure, Faith No More did a cool cover of a Commodores song, but give me, a die-hard Saints supporter, a fucking break.
I know a lot of other people had ideas about bands, but I'm astounded that the Weddoes were not even considered.
They reunited to play Grand Final Eve at the Palace, and Mick Thomas is a recognised DIE HARD SAINTS SUPPORTER.
"Under The Clocks", a classic Melbourne song, directly references the Saints getting done at again at the MCG.
Coincidence? No. We get done all the fucking time at the MCG.
So probably not my first selection for a pre-Grand Final song at a Saints' Grand Final, but you can't doubt the Weddoes' commitment to Footy.
Plus, the crowd would love their shit. Their Fucking Great Shit: "Father's Day". "Monday's Experts" (another FOOTBALL SONG). "A Ticket in Tatts" (a Dane Swan tribute, if you need). "Scorn of the Women" (AFL Policy, nyah, nyah).
But they went with Lionel Fucking Richie.
So I got there late today.
Lessened my eventual pain (though I stayed to the end - if I was concerned about pain I obviously should have left earlier).
AFL: Next time the Weddoes do a Grand Final Eve gig, book them for the next day. Not only is it courteous, they'll rock your socks off your sock-covered balls.
PS: The opportunity's lost this time 'round, but next time Collingwood wins a Grand Final (let's hope it's not for a while), once the other team's fans have left the ground, it's a victimless crime if the MCG gets attacked by Muslim Vampires. That's all I'm sayin'.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Oh when the Saints, get ****** in the ****

I just sent the following missive to Mr Andrew Demetriou:
"Dear Mr Demetriou
Having now been intimately involved with the football goings-on of the last week and a day (as a Saints member), please let me give you my opinion: a drawn Grand Final should go into extra time to allow the result to be determined on the day.
I say this because, as a die-hard Saints supporter who has now been to three winless Grand Finals in the last 372 or so days, I would have MUCH preferred to have lost last week in extra time than to have gone through this hopeless charade in the past week, only to have an even worse loss today.
I don't care what happened back in 1977 (I lie, of course, because my first memory is from 1977, and it's of my Dad taking me to see Star Wars at the cinema (which was fancy back then), but not taking my younger brother because he might be scared of Chewbacca...but we're talking footy now...)
I know it's "tradition", but people had nothing to do in 1977 (plus it was North Melbourne and Collingwood: Two Dud Teams (no disrespect intended - my team just lost a Grand Final today, I'm sure you understand)).
But this week, weddings were cancelled or moved, the women's elite road cycling race was ignored, families were abandoned by Saints supporters who have little time as it is, and even fans were abandoned (by the AFL: BAM!!!)
All so that Collingwood supporters could feel the much the same as they would have if they had won last week (although there's a good argument they would have felt better last week, which would have been a great win in the circumstances) and ALSO so that Saints supporters could feel much, much worse, and waste a lot of time and money to boot.
In case you're interested, I am super-demoralised. I'm wishing Lenny had not kicked that point last week, so we would have instead lost by one point, and taken solace from our ability to come from behind and almost snatch victory, instead of being completely annihilated in a "replay" one week later. And I mean no disrespect to the players: today was just one day. But, man, Collingwood killed us today, and there was no need to put the players and the supporters through that - if the rules allowed for extra time in a Grand Final.
For the sake of future fans in future finals, please Mr AFL: Change the Rules.
If it helps, and for the record, my son (a Saints member all his life) plays soccer.
And they have extra time in soccer.
And as of today I'm a lot more interested in soccer myself (I'm not threatening. I'm just, y'know, saying. The obvious).
Thanks for reading (or having one of your minions read).
Rile(star)"

Still. GO SAINTS.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Ebony and Irony

Is it irony that my last post was about the Saints winning one, and my very next post is just before the Real Saints* hopefully win their own?
And while we're on the topic: Is it ironic to use the word "ironic" in a deliberately non-ironic situation?
I submit it would be if you were a Master Of Irony, trying to win the Irony Man Competition, and as your closing statement you deliberately say something you think is ironic that is Not In Fact Ironic.
THAT would be IRONIC!
Coincidentally (though not ironically), that would have to win any Irony Man Competition.
Take that, Ms Morissette! (Loved your work in Dogma, by the way. Call me.)
Anyhoo, I guess I should mention that I’m back on the Rantwagon, mah peeps.
I’ve had a lot of rant-juice building up in my rant duct, and it’s time to Let Loose.
I could say that the reason I haven't posted for a super-long time is because I was waiting for the Saints to get into another Grand Final, or because I'm waiting for Sirmarco to post first (but he's taking fricking forEVER), or even because I need to spend time with my family instead of ranting into the very thin air that is the little-read and over-populated blogosphere.
But let's just blame it on Muslim Vampires. Or Twitter.
Whatever the reason, I'm back.
GO SAINTS.
*No disrespect to the New Orleans Saints, of course, I just have a deep and abiding link to the Saints of St Kilda, both in bayside Melbourne AND in the outlying Scottish island.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Faceblocked

I've finally done it. After years of bi-annually checking my Facebook account, I've deactivated it. I'm free! Now I can just concentrate on my real passions - YouFace and Twatter. What? You don't twat? Might also give me some time to post on this blogging device...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

It's All Saints to me!

The Saints finally win one!
Yes, I know they're not the mighty Saints from St Kilda, who...well...recently failed to win one.
But it counts.
Just as a win by the St George Dragons in Rugby League would count, or by the Saints of Southampton FC (y'know, if they were still in the Premier League...)

Or anyone on St Patrick’s Day.
They all count as a win for me.
Go (New Orleans) Saints!

Friday, January 22, 2010

I didn't do it!

There's a lot of angst in my hometown lately about classic music venues shutting down, and rightly so.
The big news this week was the closure of The Tote in Collingwood, followed a few days later by an announcement that The Arthouse on Elizabeth Street would also be closing.
It got me thinking about the great bands I'd seen at The Tote, like the Dirty Three and SixFtHick...and then I remembered that I had also played at The Tote!
As well as The Arthouse...

Hmmmm...
Other places our band had played included the Punter's Club in Fitzroy (closed), the 9th Ward in Flinders Lane (gone), Joey's in South Yarra and St Kilda (both shut), the Greyhound in St Kilda (no bands anymore), et cetera, et cetera...
We did have our CD launch in the Espy Gershwin Room, though, and that's still kicking on.
I, uh, hope I didn't just kill it, though...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Back to the Future's Past...Today!

OK, OK, OK!!! (the last "OK" was a yell, but sadly my acronym was already in capital letters).
One of my few readers got a little uppity recently, saying something like "Why don't you write on your blog any more?"
I KNOW. Uppity to the max!
The answer is clearly something to do with laziness, but my New Year's Resolution is...oh, I can't be bothered going through that. Anyhoo, here's my latest post-age (Pauly Shore-style) re: things that stick in or about my craw-area.
First, Nicholas D. Kristof recetly wrote about Religion and Women in the context of the recent "Parliament of the World’s Religions" right here in the land Down Under:
“Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths, creating an environment in which violations against women are justified,” former President Jimmy Carter noted in a speech last month to the Parliament of the World’s Religions in Australia.
“The belief that women are inferior human beings in the eyes of God,” Mr. Carter continued, “gives excuses to the brutal husband who beats his wife, the soldier who rapes a woman, the employer who has a lower pay scale for women employees, or parents who decide to abort a female embryo.”
Mr. Carter, who sees religion as one of the “basic causes of the violation of women’s rights,” is a member of The Elders, a small council of retired leaders brought together by Nelson Mandela. The Elders are focusing on the role of religion in oppressing women, and they have issued a joint statement calling on religious leaders to “change all discriminatory practices within their own religions and traditions.”
Nice one, Old Un-Sexist Dudes. And for all those thinking "Why should I ever listen to Godless Heathens and/or Jimmy Carter":
"The Elders are neither irreligious nor rabble-rousers. They include Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and they begin their meetings with a moment for silent prayer."
Ahhhh. So they're still a bit MeNtAl.
But at least they're on the right track.
In another article designed to re-disestablish
(please don't get on your anti"disestablish"mentarianism high horse) one's faith in this crazy old world of ours and the...what's the best way to put it..."vermin" that populate it: 'Greed culture' killing planet, it appears that the average American consumes more than his or her weight in products each day (and we all know the average American is quite rotund, so we're talking a lot of products here):
"In its annual report, Worldwatch Institute says the cult of consumption and greed could wipe out any gains from government action on climate change or a shift to a clean energy economy."
Nice one, world.

Unsurprisingly, I've got some ideas, at least for our neck of the woods.
I'll get to that another time...